On My Way To Heaven

In case you are just jumping in this series,Homeschooling One Child, by my dear friend Eileen Lawyer, you can find part one here, part two here, and part three here –

“Love Tanks”

What is a “love tank”? It is similar to the gas tank of your car. When your car is filled, your car runs great. However, if your car runs low on gas, it chugs and sputters, letting you know something is amiss. A “love tank” runs on the same basic principle. When your child’s love tank is filled, your child is happy. But if her love tank is low, you will definitely hear her chugging and sputtering (or grumbling and complaining). Like the gas tank of your vehicle, your child’s tank needs constant filling; not just once in a while. It is a way of life.

Who fills it? The mother? The father? Yes, to both, but especially fathers. They are the supreme love-tank fillers, designed by God to be so. When a daughter’s heart is filled with love from her father, she won’t go looking for love from some young man when she is older. When a son’s tank is kept full by his father, he will grow up confident in his manliness before God.

How do you fill a “love tank”? Here are some suggestions: Fathers, take your child for a walk, just the two of you, after work or after dinner. When they are little, hold their hand, and listen to them talk (and talk and talk). From their point of view, you’ve been gone a long time. Wrestle with your sons, or sit and read a great action-packed book with them. Be involved with them. Have them help you with the plumbing problems under the sink. Explain what you are doing as you are doing it, so they grow up confident and knowledgeable. As your sons mature, bestow respect upon them for the things they do and do well. Mothers, since most likely you will be the primary teacher, you will need to find time outside of school, to fill love tanks. Take your young child to a pet store, and wander around without being rushed. Enjoy seeing the fish and furry animals through the eyes of your child.  Make snow angels together. Bake treats with your daughters for your husband. Compliment work well done whether you have a son or a daughter.

The attention you give your child  – your undivided attention – fills her/his love tank, just as God’s undivided attention to you, through reading His word, fills your love tank. (This same principle applies to you and your spouse as well.) This means, as hard as this may be for some of you, don’t take your cell phones on your walk with your child. It’ll be OK to return the call later. Don’t answer the phone when you are finger painting, or in the middle of a good book you are reading together. You cannot fill your child’s love tank by asking them to be quiet so you can talk with someone else. The days with our children are precious, so use the time that God has given you wisely.

Years ago, when our daughter was really little, my husband and Rachel loved to fly kites together. I don’t think Rachel even remembers kite flying she was so young. But her heart knows even if her mind doesn’t remember. Now that we live in Moscow, Idaho, my husband has been taking Rachel on a breakfast date every Friday for almost nine years. As much as I love to be with them, I know that for my daughter, this is a precious time with her father, and so I don’t even ask to go.

May the “love tanks” of your children be so full of your love that they overflow into the generations to come.

Eileen.

Part V, The Love of Reading, is found here.

This entry was posted on Friday, March 19, 2010 at 4:00 AM and is filed under Guests, Learning at Home with tags Homeschool, Just Friends, womMEn. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.